Lifetime Real Women

I'm stuck at my mom's apartment until I move back to NYC.

I'm watching episodes of The Division and Strong Medicine, and I feel like I'm taking estrogen.

I haven't started crying yet. I'm more shaking my head, not believing my life has sunk so low...

guitar hero and rock band

So, I've been working out pretty much every other day, right? You'd have to go back and look where it was that I started, I think I mentioned it here and, frankly, I'm too lazy.

So, when you know, let me know. But it's got to be at least two months.

And I've seen a difference! And it's awesome, you know. I'm pleased with the results, I'm happy I'm doing something proactive about my health and all.

But, let me tell you about feats of strength.

I have been stuck on Rock Band's hard level... Stevie Ray Vaughn, goddammit... Pride and Joy is one hard song... on 'hard'.

I played it 14 times on Monday. I couldn't get it. I could not.

I get home tonight, after working out, and I see that I didn't save the game, so I have to do Tenacious D's "The Metal" again, which is tough in its own right.

Takes me three tries, but I do it. So, at least I can save it, thank god.

My arm is killing me. My hands hurt. This is just not going to happen.

First time, pffft.

Second time, psssshhhhh.

Third time, let me tell you, my heart was raci...

Wait a second.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait.

I think like 3 people read this blog. For those of you who don't know what Rock Band and Guitar Hero is... let's see if YouTube can school you... hmmm.



Picture me:



Tee-hee!

Singing! No sunglasses, of course...























OK, ok, sometimes with sunglasses.

With my buddies. Walter on the drums (he rocks) and Pete on guitar (he's awesome). Sometimes we switch. Walter will sing and I'll play bass... I can't play the drums for shit.

So, that's Rock Band.

Let's see if I can find a Guitar Hero clip that doesn't have a 12 year old Asian kid who's an idiot savant and will be in an institution in a couple of years, having gone insane from flashing lights and finger cramping...



Yeah, ok, I found that. And that's 'expert,' which, as you can probably surmise, is one level higher than 'hard' which won't be happening for me any time this side of Christmas, unless I practice ten hours a day, and get cataract surgery, when I need it.

All those discs at the bottom, those correspond with, I guess you'd call them frets, on the guitar you get with the game. And you have to strum a plastic doohicky (not the proper spelling) every time one of those things hits the discs, and hold down the appropriate...

Yeah, it's hard.

So, tonight I finally conquered Pride And Joy. And my arm and my hands both hate me. Which is not good.

So.

That's the news.

J

olympics

Regardless of people's decisions to ban watching them, or take them seriously, or what-not, there is still a sense of excitement every time a Phelps or a Bolt or a... well, you get the idea.

So, in the spirit, I present to you this fantastic collection of photos (some NSFW) of this years Olympics.

(edit)

AND, an AWESOME panoramic shot... check this thing out. Hold your button down and drag to a direction.

surviving the hurricane

Well, we had torrential rain, sleet, snow, cows, and...

No, wait, we had 4 minutes of rain. That's about it.

Here's some fun stuff, you know, away from talking about business and gambling and all that goes with it.







Hope all is well.

Amy, thanks for asking about me!

back around again

First, one of the best videos I've seen this year.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Now, let's recap a couple of weeks of stuff here, so that you can be up to speed on my life and business and all.

We hired a PR firm, Release PR. We've sent out 3 press releases, and sent out a ton of product samples. It's been right exhausting.

Let's see.

Went to Atlantic City with my girl Karen, and played 3-card poker at the behest of Crotchety. Won $300. Made the trip worthwhile.

It was our birthday weekend. My birthday was Sunday, the 3rd. Her's was the 31st of July. We had fun. The trip down was a joke. We spent almost 4 hours on the bus, when it should have been about 2.5 hours. Got to The Taj, went to get our vouchers cashed in (casinos give vouchers for visitors who come by bus), and they wanted Karen to get a card to get her money. What a joke.

Not the nicest thing, but after our trip, I had zero patience. We were there to play a 4pm poker tournament, and were running late.

Got to Harrah's and the line for checking in, ON A SUNDAY, was over 100 people. It took an hour just to get to the check in desk. By that time, the tournament was already under way. That sucked.

From there it was gambling and fun. They upgraded our room at Harrah's, which was nice.

Coming home, the bus basically flew all the way.

I'm at the store, listening to the most horrible music imaginable, bored out of my mind.

Someone please write me a comment so I have something to break the monotony.

John

Tequileria

I'm in the Tampa airport. It's 4:17 and my flight is delayed 3 hours. For no particular reason, as the NY area does not have rain right now, though they did in the morning.

So, I've started drinking.

The couple next to me, in their 50s at least, were carded. They asked what I was typing earlier, which was a joke of politics entry, and I told them. The wife made a face when I mentioned that McCain screwed up a few times this week and people are thinking he's going senile, or at least too old for President.

Basically she brushed me off, like "why would anyone take seriously him saying that Iraq and Pakistan border each other?"

I'm not sure. But I think most people would like their next President to NOT be a fucking moron.

The woman opposite me is balancing her checkbook.

Ah, the lost and lonely of the Tampa airport.

I'm heading to NY, to celebrate Karen's and my birthday. Her's is the 31st. Mine is August 3rd. We're going down to Atlantic City to try and win next months rent.

Crotchety, I'll do my best to play some slots in your honor.

I wish the flight wasn't so delayed. There's only so much drinking I can do with 3 hours to wait. Then, I'll get on the flight and want to drink more, at extortion prices, or I'll have a stomach ache and throw up on my neighbor.

Or both. You never know these days. One bottom out and I could shoot puke three rows.

What else is going on today? Just work, the usual. Nothing much.

Going to see The Dark Knight tomorrow, on IMAX, at 9:30 AM, and it better be deserted. I don't want a bunch of crying kids spoiling my fun. Our fun.

Then it's cooking dinner. Then it's, oh, she's got this killer gym in the building, so, we'll be working out. And, ahem.

Saturday, not sure what's going to happen, but I'm hoping to get together with my buddies at my friend Pete's restaurant. We shall see.

Nothing much else going on, though and I can only type for so long before I start repeating myself, and that's never fun, unless on purpose.

So, I hope you're all enjoying yourselves. And if I die in the plane crash, Karen gets the L painting. Just, you know, so that it's a matter of record.

The rest of you, sorry, you get nothing but fond memories of my brief blog writing career.

Wish me luck.

couple of things

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.


Wrestlers Need A Chair And Fans Deliver - Watch more free videos

Ahhh.

Now.

For those of you interested in watching some amazing movies you might not have heard about (this, of course, depends on how many movies you do watch), I would like to recommend two.

One. MUST be watched in its original language. Half of Min-sik Choi's incredible acting is in his inflection.

Two.

Both are nearly perfect, if not fully. If you want another semi-mainstream movie that I believe is perfect, you know, for reference. American Psycho.

There you have it.

Hope you're well.

J