Sunday, June 1, 2008

regression

I'm sitting in a chair. I'm seven years old. I tell my mom that her food tastes like dog crap and she better take me to McDonalds before I start walking around the house naked, with my bits tucked under me, acting like a girl. I tell her I'll start wearing makeup and that I'll tell all of her friends that I'm a big Barbara Streisand fan.

My dad comes into the room, rolls his eyes and gets a bowl of cocoa krispies, fills it with orange juice, puts it in front of me and says 'shut up and eat.'

I lay here and I can't help but think that this would have been a daily occurrence, had I grown up in Florida.

This place... I can feel it changing my soul.

My childhood was actually nothing like that. It was awesome. And my mom is one of the best cooks around. I relish the holidays because she makes these awesome dinners. And I know that meatballs sound like a pretty easy thing to make... hers are to die for.

So, I finished Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The entire series. In one month and two days. Beat that!

Seriously, if you do beat that, I probably don't want to know you, so... don't bother beating that. Just, move on.

Ever have one of those days where you accomplish nothing? Where you take two naps, because you're so bored with what you're doing, or you have no energy? Well that was today. I didn't take two naps, I haven't done that since my mom lived in the other black hole of fun, Scranton, Pennsylvania.

No, today I combined the two naps into one 3 hour sleep fest. Yeah. It rocked pretty hard.

My upstairs neighbor is having sex right now. It's 12:49am.

Check earlier posts about this guy and his...

Jesus, that was quick.

Sigh. The curse of the 40-50 year old man.

Wow, you have to hear this. The Viagra kicked in, I think. This guy must have been a drummer or something when he was younger. He's keeping a very steady beat.

Oh well.

Have a good night, all. A better night than I'm having.

J

6 comments:

Kat said...

sorry about all the noise buddy will try to keep it down next time

Melisa Sriwulandari said...

Um, I watched an entire season of Smallville in one/two sitting. All the seasons. When I got them.
How about that?

~*~Shadow.Crystal~*~ said...

Priceless... we can hear our neighbours in the yard every summer :-D

wendy said...

Ummm... pehaps earplugs would help LOL

or, or, or, or turn up the movie you are watching.

Or talk to the palm sisters for assistance

Sorry bout the last one. LOL
Wendy
http://wendysreel.com (the new one)

Nicole said...

haha- I loved this post!! I have to deal with it all the time too --I hate these thin walls my condo has.. yuck!! I did watch all the seasons of Weeds in 2 days guess that makes me a pretty huge loser!!

Destination Africa said...

You could drop send him a note

'Hey neighbour, i can't help but notice your vigor and exceptional performance every night. I was wondering, do you mind if i join in.. you know, i already join you in my mind, might as well move it to the next level' Yours, downstairs neighbour.

Trust me, that is the last time you will have to listen to him.

word of advice, never follow my advice - I don't